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Ready

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Director           Anees Bazmee
Cast                 Salman Khan, Asin Thotumkal, Mahesh Manjrekar, Paresh Rawal, Anuradha Patel, Manoj Pahwa, Manoj Joshi, Puneet Issar, Akhilendra Mishra, Sharat Saxena, Arya Babbar, Sudesh Lehri, Nikitin Dheer
Year                2011
Genre              Comedy

Before you go to watch Ready, please follow the steps as under
  1. Open Skull
  2. Carefully pull out brain – make sure you don’t damage anything else the purpose of saving the brain from trauma would be defeated.
  3. Now, place brain in a bowl of ice cold water and leave it in freezer for the next few hours
Now that you have no sense of pain or pleasure or excitement or humour, you are in the perfect situation to watch one of the most brainless pieces of work that Bollywood could have given to you.  This one takes the cake and makes David Dhawan look like an Oscar winning director.  This freak of nature has taken slapstick and cheap comedy to a completely different level.  And what is shocking is that the audiences are loving it and lapping it up.  Every single piece of crap that is dished out from his table seems to be going so well with the audiences that his sense of false self belief is getting bloated beyond recognition and repair.  And no we aren’t talking about Salman Khan who was probably the only saving grace in Ready other than Paresh Rawal.  We are talking about this phenomenon (what else can you call him) called Anees Bazmee!!!!  Its truly ridiculous that someone like Bazmee can get away with all the bull shit that he dishes out.  But as I said – the audiences are loving it to say the least LLLL:’(:’(:’(:’(  Other than the 4 of us who had braved the Saturday rains in Mumbai to watch the 2250 show (and I was doing this after watching 5 decent movies before), everyone else seemed to be having a stupendous time.  Maybe they followed my instructions to the T and were informed earlier by someone else.

Prem (Salman Khan – for the nth time being called Prem) is a Chartered Accountant (can you believe that!!!!). But wait… there has to be a twist right.  He is based in Bangkok – wonder whose accounts he was balancing there??? He is the sole heir to millions (of Bahts I am assuming) owned by his father Ram (Mahesh Manjrekar) and his uncles Laxman (Manoj Pahwa) and Bharat (Manoj Joshi).  But the families have given up on him per se thanks to his mischevious ways.  His favourite pastime is to get single girls hitched with the guys of their dreams – especially if the single girls are hot and happen to be the neighbour’s daughter – AAAARGH!!!!!  But the folks finally manage to get him to consider a girl recommended by the family Baba.  A chick coming in from the US.  And heres is where the 2nd and ultimate twist happens of a girl exchange.  Instead of a certain Pooja who no one in the family but the Baba has seen, Sanjana (Asin) lands up taking her place.  Chaos and of course love happens soon enough. And yes… a tuk tuck chase is thrown in as garnish

None of my closing comments will save you from the torture that you will go through.  Although I don’t owe any apologies to Sheena, Hersh and Vivek because they willingly accepted the proposition of going through this mindless piece of crap, I believe I still will apologize to them because I came up with the idea.  What prevented me from watching Hangover 2 I will never know – wait of course I know – the 3 of them had already seen it :’(:’(:’(.  The positives however include some foot tapping music and  some extremely cocky dialogue delivery from Salman.  For e.g. “Is duniya mein 3 cheezon ko kabhi underestimate mat karna – I, Me and Myself” (For the non educated in Hindi – Never underestimate 3 things in life – I, Me and Myself!!!) AAARGH ^ infinity. 2 on 10 for the above 2 points and some decent comic timing in patches from Paresh Rawal (more out of respect).

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACvDgKuTxnA
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