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After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."

Mylapore Division: o Mylapore, Luz: 1 p.m.-2 p.m o Royapettah, Nungambakkam - 3 p.m.-4 p.m. o Spencer Plaza sub-station - 4 p.m.-5 p.m. o Foreshore Estate - 12 p.m.-1 p.m. o Sardar Jung Road sub-station - 4 p.m.-5 p.m. Anna Salai Division: o Anna Salai - 10 a.m.-11 a.m. o Flower Bazaar, Government Estate sub-station - 12 p.m-1 p.m. o Madras High Court substation - 1 p.m.-2 p.m; o Chintadripet - 5 p.m.-6 p.m. Egmore Division: o Egmore - 12 p.m.-1 p.m. o Pulianthope - 3 p.m.-4 p.m. o Seven Wells - 4 p.m.-5 p.m. o Kilpauk, West Geroge Town - 5 p.m.-6 p.m. T. Nagar Division: o R.A.Puram - 10 a.m.-11 a.m. o Valluvar Kottam, DMS substation - 11 a.m.-12 p.m. o West Mambalam- 1 p.m.-2 p.m. o Nandanam, M.R.C.Nagar, Mambalam substation -2 p.m.-3 p.m. o Saidapet, Usman Road - 5 p.m.-6 p.m. South Circle- o Zone...

This is a freak incident that happened last week. A young man and his 4 yr old son went to a petrol bunk near Lal bagh (Bangalore) to fill in petrol for his bike. The boy was sitting on the pillion behind him. The helper who fills petrol held the petrol gun upwards, and turned towards the meter to re-set the meter. As soon as the setting was done the petrol came out gushing out of the gun- due to some malfunction - (at least that's what they said)in full speed and splashed all over the 4 yr old boy and his father. Petrol entered the eyes of the boy. Immediately the boy was taken into the cleaning area and was showered in a water jet. They washed his eyes with lot of water. But the boy could not see anything. The young man took the child to the hospital and immediately the hospital authorities put him in ICU. The kid was transferred to Vittala Netralaya & after 2 days of treatment he got some vision again. Now he is alright and is at home. The doctors told that just because the ...

"I need to revise the death certificate I just handed you." my fellow doctor said to a nurse I was working with. "What's wrong?" she asked. "It's a little embarrassing," he said. Then, pulling her aside, he whispered, "I was in a hurry when I signed it and, well, I accidentally wrote my name under "Cause of Death."

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk.  I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger's. The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about? 'Oh, I don't know', said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' 'OK,' she said. That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?' - she said. The stranger thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea,' To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really FEEL QUALIFIED to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit? Forwarded by SumiSuresh

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.   They were sitting on beach chairs,enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a bikini came walking straight towards them.They couldn't help but stare.As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'nodding and addressing each of them individually,then she passed on by.   They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?  So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, i...

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month. 2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby. 3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month. 4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby. 5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available. 6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources. 7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months. 8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby. And lastly................. 9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby.

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the heck were you when I got married?"

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A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Reached Date: 22 July 2008 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW! Forwarded by Vijay Renganathan

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Forwarded by Vijay Renganathan